Upon seeing the media headlines, the title of this memoir resurrected somewhere between my soul and my grandmothers memory. The articles created an arrhythmia of sorts, as if my heart had skipped the beat of justice: “ Dr. owes $100,000 for anti-vaccine post”, “ She admits professional incompetence”…. It had just been a few hours before, that I had even received the final settlement agreement from my lawyer and now the Canadian Company were broadcasting it before some of my family even knew. At times like these, feeling totally humiliated and defeated, there is always a person on the outside or a voice on the inside that arrives to balance this perspective and offer love and care. Where was my support? In this moment, as with many of the challenges of the past, I could hear the strong loving feminine wisdom of my grandmother, “better to tell the truth and be punished, than to live with the consequences of a lie. The truth is priceless”. In some weird way even as an adult this recall nurtured my child like spirit. Within the heartache, I was attempting to honour myself for not allowing my fears to overtake my common sense and love for humanity. So between my deceased grandmother’s spirit, my own self respect and belief in God that had brought me this far, I was able to get out of bed and continue. The e-mail inquires, media requests and phone calls that the news articles had inspired, created a world wind of emotion that seemed to fuel the fire burning in my adversaries, create unrest in my family and further doubt in an already desperate financial situation. Could sharing the truth cost me more than 100 grand? How many truths would I be able to share and keep everyone alive and well? Are there some days you too feel like you’re in a video game and that no matter where you are, the bad guys are going to eat you? ..... to be continued
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