Imagine your adolescent son presents his computer, frozen onto a pornography internet site, how is it you respond?
The answers to the questions you may ask, open the doors of possibility and give you an opportunity to enter into a discussion. To assume anything, is ignorance; silence and inquisition often brings new found wisdom. Ask the "when", "where", "how" and most importantly "why" questions to interact with your child, try to see their perspective and parent the pornography.
This teenage time of body changes, exploration and curiosity creates a natural desire to know and see more. In your day, this sexual curiosity may have found an appetite in peeking into your father's playboy pile or playing games of "show and don't tell", with your closest friends of the opposite sex. Today the advent of the vast internet changes the playing field into a greater range of exposure. Kids no longer have access to only a few naked photos but a whole cyber space of wide range of virtual sexual experiences. Many authors and activists groups would like to see pornography banned from kids entirely, claiming our evolution has not prepared our brain for on-line pornography as it exists. The arousal and neural circuit stimulation of pornography has the potential to hijack the brain-reward cascade and create sexual addictions. Promiscuity and sexual violence are other fears that capture the emotion of parents, observing the utilization of internet pornography increasing. One shocking story in the UK Sunday times reported 12-17 year old are the largest consumers of internet porn. The University of New Hampshire breaks down the percentage into sex, that 93 percent of boys and 62 percent of girls were exposed to online pornography during their adolescence. Given these statistics, likely your teenager is surfing the sex sites too.
Instead of creating more emotion and hyper-sensitization around this issue, fearing and draw nearing that which you don't want or ignoring the issue thinking it won't happen to you, allow this article to stimulate conversation in your household and use it as a spring board into your teenager's psyche. Adopting poise and purpose in exploring pornography allows you to parent with love and grace. It has been my experience of that which I try to keep from my kids creates an infatuation. Toy guns, chocolate, computer games and fast food I've embraced, seeing my ridge repression of ideas, items and interests often creates their full expression. Moderating their current internet sexual buffet with conversations about safe sex practices, pedophiles, consenting adult sexual behavior, respectful sexual interaction is your only defense. In society, we see these universal laws of repression and expression working in different social and religious groups. The repression of an accepted sexual "normal" often brings about the expression of an sexual "abnormal". Pornography serves to stimulate and for millions of adults provides a safe environment to virtually live their sexual experience but how is it that we control the age and material to that which our children are exposed? The billion dollar industry of internet pornography is here to stay and will likely to continue to caress our children's curiosity so entering into conversation with your children discussing the potential problems with this virtual journey is parenting the pornography. Step fearlessly through your own inhibitions and fears to ask the tough questions, listen well, share your values and most importantly lead with love.